Reasons Your Band Should Break Up- Top Ten

Reasons Your Band Should Break Up- Top Ten

Everyone who plays guitar, drums or bass have been in a band at one time or another. Most of these bands suck. Really suck. Maybe you are in a band and you want to know if you should break up. Here is a list of the top ten reasons your band should break up. If any of these apply to you; call it quits.

1. If you play any of these songs: Wild thing, sweet home Alabama, or Louie Louie. now don't get me wrong. These songs are actually pretty good songs. However, they are simple songs to play. There are thousands of songs that your band could pick to play. If you picked one of the easiest songs ever written then you must suck. Quit now before you mention Jimi Hendrix.

2. Your last three shows were for your friends in your basement: Your friends don't really want to hear you play. They never do. EVER. They may say "you're great" and come to your shows, but they don't like your music. In fact your girlfriend called me last night and she doesn't even like your music. She thought it was cute when you first started dating but now she wishes you spent less time promoting your crap band. Quit now before she dumps you and starts dating that insurance sales guy who makes 6 figures and goes to the gym.

3. You have ever said "we are unique": you are not. Seriously, someone else has done exactly what you are doing 1000 times before you and they did it better. You are not reinventing the wheel here. Calling yourself unique just means you can't play. Go home, have a good cry and set your guitar on fire.

4. Your mom comes to your shows: Heck, I love your mom too but leave her out of it. If your mom is coming to your shows then you must be pretty desperate for fans to fill that venue you are playing at. Drugged out dads are ok though.

6. You have kids: Once you have had kids you give up your right to be a rocker. if you mention John Lennon had a kid when he was in the beatles well... he kept that fact a secret. SOOO, if 99 percent of the people who know you have no clue you have kids, you can be in a band. Oh, and that world's best dad coffee mug is on backorder.

7. If your band switches instruments during your set: OH how I hate this. you are basically saying; this guy wasn't good enough to learn this part so we need to switch. Switching instruments is like having an open relationship; It might sound like a good idea but really it is just a sign of other problems.

8. If you Google your band name and the first link is not you: You could have just picked a new name but if you were not smart enough to figure it out until now... please put down the guitar and walk away.

9 and 10. you are over 35: You are old. get it into your head.

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